“I am…” is one of the most powerful internal statements we can make. The problem is that we often lack awareness of even having these thoughts. These two words, followed by whatever descriptor we choose, shape our identity, influence our behavior, and set the course for who we are becoming. Whether you say, “I am a success,” “I am a failure,” “I am resilient,” or “I am weak,” these words send a powerful message through your psyche, reinforced every time you say them.
The Impact of Self-Talk
How we speak to ourselves and the thoughts we have about ourselves matter greatly. If there is one person you should be able to rely on, it is yourself. If there is one person you should be able to count on to always be in your corner, it is yourself. Positive self-talk can be incredibly empowering. When you tell yourself, “I am capable,” or “I am determined,” you build confidence and resilience. Conversely, negative self-talk can be debilitating. Telling yourself, “I am useless,” or “I am not good enough,” can erode self-esteem and stifle growth.
The Importance of Honest Self-Assessment
Am I advocating for you to lie to yourself? Absolutely not. You should tell yourself the hard truths. It’s part of the trust-building process with yourself. What is critically important is that you don’t take weaknesses and cement them as part of your identity. For instance, as Carol Dweck wrote in her book, “Mindset”, there’s a significant difference between saying, “I failed,” and, “I am a failure.” The former acknowledges a specific event where things didn’t go as planned, while the latter suggests a permanent state of being. This distinction is crucial. One statement addresses a temporary setback; the other enshrines it as a defining characteristic.
The Power of Positive Affirmations
Using “I am” statements effectively involves critically reviewing these thoughts. Positive affirmations can help reinforce a healthy self-image and encourage positive behavior. Here are some steps to harness the power of “I am” statements:
- Be Specific and Positive: Frame your “I am” statements positively and specifically. Instead of saying, “I am not a failure,” say, “I am learning and growing.”
- Believe in Your Statements: Your affirmations should be realistic and believable. Saying, “I am a billionaire,” when you’re struggling financially, can create cognitive dissonance. Instead, focus on affirmations like, “I am working towards financial stability.”
- Use Present Tense: Frame your affirmations in the present tense to reinforce the belief that the qualities you desire are already a part of you. For example, say, “I am confident,” instead of, “I will be confident.”
- Repeat Regularly: Consistency is key. Repeating your affirmations daily reinforces these beliefs and helps ingrain them into your subconscious mind.
The Difference Between Verbs and Nouns
When reviewing “I am” statements, pay attention to whether you’re using verbs or nouns. Verbs describe actions or events, while nouns describe states or identities. The difference between “I failed” and “I am a failure” is massive. One is an event, the other is an identity. By using verbs, you frame your experiences as temporary and changeable. By using nouns, you risk making them permanent parts of your identity.
Building a Positive Identity
To build a positive identity, focus on the qualities you want to embody. Say, “I am resilient,” “I am capable,” or “I am kind.” These statements help shape your self-perception and guide your actions. When faced with challenges, remind yourself of these qualities. Over time, these positive “I am” statements will become ingrained in your self-concept.
Critical Self-Review
“I am” thoughts should immediately trigger an alert in your head. Critically review them to ensure they align with your desired identity. If you catch yourself thinking, “I am not good enough,” challenge that thought. Replace it with a more empowering statement, such as, “I am learning and growing.”
The statements we make about ourselves have a profound impact on our identity and our future. “I am” is a declaration of who we are and who we are becoming. By choosing these statements with intention, we can build a stronger, more resilient self. Remember, you are the one person you can always rely on. Speak to yourself with encouragement, truth, and positivity, and watch as your reality transforms.